Bob Wingate's Blog

On Sadism, Masochism, Masters and Slaves

 

The Interview with Eric Tide, which I posted on May 21st, elicited several interesting comments, including a very long and interesting essay by Dark Lord, which I post in its entirety below. I hope it in turn will inspire readers to send me their thoughts on the subject. 

 

First, thanks to you Bob, Eric, and previous commenters. Excellent and enlightening discussion. It reminded me of something I'd written many, many, many years ago when I was trying to figure this out in my own mind. It's based only on my own experiences, as both a top and bottom, playing with a multitude of other guys, and trying to distill that experience in a phenomenological manner. It sure as hell ain't dogma in which everyone must believe.

 

Here, for better or worse, is that discussion:

 

In my experience, the world of S&M is divided into two broad categories: the Master/Slave scene and the Sadist/Masochist scene. On the surface, both look very similar and can be easily confused with one another, yet on a deeper level, they are quite separate and distinct.

Straight Guy's Rage

Cross-dressing and forced feminization have never been my thing, and apparently they were not a big thing for most Bound & Gagged readers. That doesn't mean I failed to publish all reader-written true experiences that came my way involving men forced into corsets, high heels and make-up; it's just that very few such experiences did. 

 

In the days of Bound & Gagged, this particular reader did write me more than one letter about his experiences, which I published. But I don't remember ever seeing this one, which I recently found in a box of unpublished material. The other pieces may have had some cross dressing in them, I can't say for sure. What I do remember is that most of the tops/masters he sought out, who were usually straight men themselves, as he himself may be, were more violent and cruel than I personally found palatable. Same goes for the top/master here, but there's no denying the story's powerful, and makes for hot reading.

 

A STRAIGHT MAN TAKES OUT HIS RAGE AGAINST

WOMEN ON HIS MALE SLAVE

 

RIVERSIDE, CA.—I knew Tom was married when I first met him and spent the night as his slave. We discussed it at great length. I wanted him to be the one that took the responsibility if his wife Janet ever found out about me.

 

I was thrilled that he “kept me on.” Janet was a computer analyst systems designer,and she traveled a lot. There were plenty of long weekends for me to be Tom’s sex toy and bondage plaything. But I always felt like I wanted more!

 

A Slave's Story.

This story, with its accompanying interview, appeared in Issue 55 [Nov. 1996]. I'd love to have readers here write me with their answers to the questions I asked this slave.

 

SLAVE’S FACE PUSHED IN PIE BY APPETIZING MASTER

 

MISSISSIPPI. You wanted to know more about my relationship with “David,” the 29-year-old who was somewhat into S/M. My time spent with David was very special to me. He was quite arrogant and not overly friendly, but he knew the ropes and was willing not only to keep me tied up often, but to go the extra step with me and dominate me quite extensively. He also pushed my limits more than others did.

Slave Training Center

From my experience and the accounts I've received over the years, I'd say the slave/Master fantasy is shared by a large number of men into bondage. Being transformed into a nameless, self-consciousless, personality-less creature whose sole desire and purpose in life is to be abused by and exist for the pleasure of a dominant man whom they revere as a god, seems to be the ne plus ultra of many guys' aspirations—at least until they cum, after which most wipe themselves off and go back to being themselves, often drifting off to sleep in the process. 

 

Here's one man's description [from Issue 41 of Bound & Gagged] of his ideal Slave Training Center. How many of you would like to be trained there, too? How many of you would add to, improve on or in any way change this Slave Training Center to better fit your own fantasies? How many of you may actually live in real life, day-to-day Master/slave relationships? Please write me about them.

 

I have read about a place where slaves are trained. Candidates for this training are instructed to apply and fill out an extensive questionnaire regarding their fantasies, limits, experience at being a slave, health/medical histories etc. In other words, a center where a responsible/professional atmosphere has been established for the rigorous training of boys/slaves/scumbags such as myself.

On Eric Tide's Memoirs

I've always wanted this blog to be primarily a bondage forum, and maybe this reader's musings, too long for the comments section, might serve as a starting point:

 

I have many of the same concerns that you have regarding the behavior of Eric and Logan and Dylan. The latest toothbrush activity is disturbing from the standpoint of health.The subject of safety has disturbed me all along but Reality prevails and they were kids.

 

Logan did show some concern for what effect his tortures had on Eric. Early on, during the camping trip, he asked Eric if he was up to more. Then on at least two other occasions, he made comments to Eric during a torture scene, saying, "Please don't make me do this to you," or similar words. I sense that he, in his own mind, is trying to excuse himself for doing something that he secretly has reservations about doing. Yet he seems to want to do them and safety is not a consideration. Dylan, on the other hand, shows no restraint whatsoever and is much more dangerous than Logan.

 

They both must like what they do though, for even though Eric says he asks for these things Eric seems to mean he generally wants tough scenes, but he doesn't ask for specifics. There is nothing, so far, to indicate that he asked specifically for the toothbrush scene, or the ice scene, or the boiling water scene.

 

Eric seems to have an uncontrollable desire to endure such actions. Spontaneous activities, especially new tortures, fulfill Eric's needs better than repeats. What bothers me is there is never any sign of a review, or feedback or discussion [call it whatever you want] with Logan and Dylan about an activity. No feedback about whether or not the activity was good, or too much, or too close to being over the limits to be used again. Any action that could result in a trip to the ER, in my mind, should be reviewed. Rampant sadism should not be continued and even tho Eric states that he was in control and could stop things at any time, he must realize that his control wasn't always immediate and a trip to the ER could result before a stop could be enacted.

 

There were times when Eric was totally helpless and wouldn't be able to communicate, due to blindfolds, hoods, gags etc. Sometimes he would be screaming in pain and the potential of damage may not penetrate through his pain and allow him to call an end to it soon enough.

 

Many of the torture games seem to have a time limit to determine the win or lose result. This one, however, first appeared to be heading for a no definite goal, because when Eric asked he was told that it ended whenever they tired of hearing his screams. That's an 'open end', which means that it would not be a contest and Eric could never win unless they wanted him to, which seems unlikely. It was apparently changed when Graham was negotiating and appears to have been set at 4 hours. I may have missed something tho.

 

Graham seemed to require some reward to encourage enduring such punishment. In other games, the only reward was bragging rights, which are worthless, for no one else knows about the game but them. The incentive to endure such torture should be substantial [or significant].

 

I look forward to each new chapter but I must confess, while I know he always comes through OK, I find myself fearing that Eric could encounter a dreaded trip to the ER in each new chapter.

 

One thing that never set well with me is when Logan and Dylan forced Eric to agree to be their slave for the entire rest of the year. That seemed to violate the consensual aspect of the agreement, for they dictated the conditions rather than negotiating them. They knew that Eric was not capable of saying 'NO'. [He probably couldn't say no even if he were free, which he wasn't.] That, to my way of thinking, displays the character of both Logan and Dylan.

 

In this chapter the four of them go to the Shack after having beaten the shit out of the two victims. If they were dressed in shorts only, then the bruises must have showed. Even if they wore shirts, the short sleeves would not hide the arms and the shorts would expose the leg bruises. Both Eric and Graham must have been stiff, sore and hoarse. Didn't any of that cause comments of friends that night? How did the burgers taste to Eric after his mouth brushing? Yuk.

 

One thing does emerge from this entire series. A slave is on call to perform whenever the tops want to have some action. This means that regardless of how up to it the slave may be, he will be used when the tops want. Slaves are human and have their ups and downs just like tops, but tops can be obtuse and not recognize symptoms at times. Eric must have had times when he physically wasn't up to these activities. Was he ever given any consideration for such a condition?

 

I realize, as I'm sure we all do, that these chapters are composites of Eric's experiences and as such must skip over some facts to accomplish a readable and flowing document. I don't want this to be taken as a criticism, it's not. I just have questions in my mind which may or may not be cleared up, but at least I asked. I really do enjoy reading Eric's experiences. I do wish that they had considered safety more.

 

Eric and Logan and Dylan were extremely lucky, for which I am grateful, that no one was hurt. They defied the odds and won.

 

Bob, do with this whatever you want. If you pass it or parts of it on to Eric, make sure that I don't discourage him from continuing to give us more chapters.

 

[Eric, please take note, if there's anything no one wants to do, that's discourage you from continuing to give us more chapters.]

 

Another Slave Contract

In reaction to the recent posts from the slave trainee, and before yesterday's letter from the Master, a favorite reader wrote:  

 

I’ve been following the current “Slave” series, but sorta can't figure out whether our guy is just new and eager or wanted a master to put him out of his misery.  In my own humble opinion, a slave is not so committed to a master that he’ll do WHATEVER. I’m not jumping out a window or doing anything unsafe or illegal.  I would commit to Master because I trust Master to care for me, like a stern parent or an uptight DI.

 

Many slave contracts get written in the “heat of ecstatic fantasy,” great porn, but not very realistic.  A true Master in today’s world wants his slave to grow – perhaps to become his executive assistant, finish his medical degree, perhaps to become a master himself some day. An honest Master/slave contract probably should not exceed one year, with provision for revision and renewal. 

Letter from the Trainee's Master

In the package from the slave trainee, all of whose documents I posted last week, was this letter from his Master. I'd love to know what you think of it, as well as of all the other I posted.—BW

 

Since I had this mailed for Fagboy, he doesn’t know I have included this last letter. I was totally against this in the first place, but after I read his letter to you, it was hard to suppress my laughter. I kept a straight face and made him pay for it just for laughs. l know it’s going to make you laugh. l thought I’d tell you more about Fagboy. As a person, he’s easy to get along with, never says a bad word about anybody, and will bend over backwards to help anyone.

A Master and His Slave

Max and his slave, Jockboy, came to our house in Pennsylvania to help our friend Jerry when he was building our dungeon (some of which you'll see from the outside in these pictures). Max and Jockboy had one of the most convincing Master/slave bondage relationships I've seen, since Jockboy couldn't be tied up enough and Max never tired of keeping him tied up—and gagged, which was a good thing, because it was the only way he ever succeeded in keeping jockboy quiet.

Slave Report Card

Here's our slave's report card for the first four months of his slavery:

 

	Aug 99	Sept 99	Oct 99	Nov 99	Term
Sacrifice:
- Made all necessary sacrifices	A-	A	A	A	A
-Sacrifices without complaint	A	A	A	A	A
Loyalty:
- Obeys commands quickly	B-	B	B+	A-	B+
- Obeys with enthusiam	B	B	B	B+	B
- Obeys orders without question	C+	B	B	B+	B
- Follows all rules	C+	B	B	B+	B
Athletics:
- Follows required exercise program	C+	B-	B	B	B
- Follows required diet program	C+	B-	B	B	B
- Follows required workout program	B-	B-	B	B	B
Values:
- Recite all materials from memory	C+	B-	B-	B+	B-
- Uses principles in daily life	C	C+	C+	B-	C+
Emasculation:
-Willingly submits to humiliation	C+	B-	B-	B-	B-
- Submits w/o complaints/questions	C+	C+	B-	B	C+
- Always completes humiliating tasks	B-	B-	B-	B-	B-
Skills:
- Cock sucking	B-	B-	B	B	B
- Cums only with permission	D	D	D	D	D
- Good Fuck	C	B	B	B-	B
- Torture/Pain Endurance	C-	C	C+	B	C+
Other Duties:
- Cleaning (domestic duties)	B	B	B	B	B
- Completes all daily tasks	B	B	B	B	B
Over-all Grade	C	B-	B	B	B

 

Tomorrow: Some Master/slave phtos from our videos and readers.

The day after tomorrow: The letter from this slave's Master, which accompanied the package we received in the Bound & Gagged office.

Core Beliefs of a Bondage Slave

Here's what my slave trainee described as his core beliefs. Please send me your thoughts.

 

A slave must have equal measures of humility, courage, and bravery if he is not to fail in his servitude to his Master. A slave needs humility to acknowledge and accept his lowly inferior status for submission to his Master. A slave needs courage to face all the embarrassment and humiliation. A slave needs to be brave to endure all the pain and torture required by his Master. The main ingredients that a bondage slave should have are:

An Enslavement Agreement

Here is the Enslavement Agreement our slave trainee signed with his Master. Your comments are urgently solicited, as are any other enslavement agreements you may have read or signed. If they're too long for the Comments box, send them to my email: [email protected]

 

ENSLAVEMENT AGREEMENT

 

 

I ______________ (heretofore to be referred to as "the slave"), willingly and with no mental defect voluntarily assign my complete rights to my free will and to my physical person to ______________(heretofore to be referred to as "the Master") in this contract (heretofore referred to as “Enslavement Agreement”) during the duration (heretofore to be referred as “the enslavement”) as stated in the terms established in this Enslavement Agreement. The slave will acknowledge and accept the status of inferiority his title implies, and must always acknowledge the Master as being superior in all respects. The slave will surrender the following rights and privileges automatically upon the execution of the Enslavement Agreement, and such rights and privileges are at the discretion of the Master to grant and confer onto the slave throughout the enslavement.

Slave Training Program

FYI, the letters from Fagboy, wherever he and his Master may have been located, were postmarked Orlando, which leads me to believe they were somewhere down south (possibly Orlando) and may explain why he could wear such light clothing throughout the year.—BW 

 

FAGBOY TRAINING PROGRAM

 

I am Fagboy. I have a civilian name that I was born with, but it’s not the name I go by now. I am into bondage. I'm a bisexual who had two choices I could have made: either I could continue my heterosexual relationship with my girlfriend, or I could become the willing, helpless sex slave in bondage to my Master. It would be a difficult choice, but for me it was an easy decision. How could anyone in their right mind pass up the opportunity to become the bondage slave to another man?

Letter from a Slave Trainee

I don't know how many of you out there are Masters, how many consider yourselves slaves, but the Master/slave scenario has long seemed to me probably the most popular dom/sub theme in the bondage community. Last week I came across a bunch of writings from a slave trainee that I thought you might find interesting. They appeared in our online edition No. 16 (October, 2000). The first piece, which I print below, was basically just an introduction, followed by a detailed description of this trainee's training program, his enslavement agreement, his credo, the "Core Beliefs of a Bondage Slave," his "Guiding Principles of a Bondage Slave," and his monthly Report Card after four months of slavery. Also in the envelope with the trainee's writings was a letter from his Master, which he himself did not see.

I'm going to run all of these pieces over the next seven days, and will be very interested in your reactions to them. I have many of my own, which I'll then share as well.—BW

P.S. It should go without saying that, despite what this slave's Master may have told him, Bound & Gagged was never a magazine for Masters only. But few things ever do go without saying.

MY NAME IS FAGBOY 

Dear Sirs:

My name is Fagboy. I was cleaning my master’s room a few months ago when I found a copy of Bound & Gagged magazine. I will admit, I didn’t get a chance to read it, I was more occupied with the pictures. There was an incredible picture spread of two guys torturing this other guy in a garage, and then finally binding their naked victim to the top of a car. I was jealous of the guy being tied to the top of the car, and began to fantasize about being him. I was so turned on by it that I began to jerk off. My Master caught me before I got too far and yelled at me angrily. He told me that the magazine was made for masters only and was not meant to be read by a lowly slave trainee like me. He was very upset and forbids me to ever look at another one of his magazines again, but luckily I was not penalized any points.