Back in mid-October my friend Leo in Texas sent in answers
to bondage questions I’d asked, then asked a bunch of bondage questions of his
own. At that time I asked you for your answers to his questions. While I
wasn’t swamped with emails, a fair number of responses did start trickling in.
Some were short, most were sensible, and the best I’ll post here.
No one had any answers to two of Leo’s five questions, each
of which would require medical knowledge. Here’s the first:
“Is there such a thing
as an anal catheter, to let fecal matter pass through a tube? This would
be for long-term mummification. It goes without saying the bottom would have to
be given a laxative or lots of water beforehand. Is the alternative to plug him
and have him stop eating a day or two in advance of the session?”
As uninformed as the next lay person, I can’t resist putting
in my own two cents here: I can’t believe that for long-term mummification—and
how long is long-term?—it’s a good idea to have someone stop eating several days
beforehand. In a very early issue of B&G (I think it was #12) someone did
write about long-term encasement in a plaster cast, but I don’t remember if
they actually did it or were just thinking about doing it, or how they solved,
or intended to solve, the defecation problem. When I get a moment, I’ll go back
to that issue, and check.
Leo’s second medical question:
“In the same vein,
where can you learn about catheterization without going to medical school. What
I’d like is personal instruction. I don’t trust what I learn from a book to
teach me technique.”
My own two cents again: You might try contacting Mr. S. or
any reputable shop that sells sounds and catheters, and ask if they can
recommend someone in your area who could give you advice or instruction, but
while that’s the best I can do, I can’t suggest it with great enthusiasm. I’ve
never been a great fan of sticking sounds and catheters up my dick.
Now here are the questions Leo asked which got some great
replies:
“What do you do if the
bottom keeps giving you the wrong safe-word and it is somewhat unclear that he
means it and he has told you not to interrupt the session unless he uses a
specific word or pair of words?”
Leo actually answered his own question, though I held
his answer back at the time. “I would
probably end it and risk being wrong and ruining the guy’s experience if he
really is intentionally giving the wrong word,” he wrote, which I thought made
sense. But I also wanted to see what the rest
of you thought.
Master F wrote:
I wouldn’t give a damn what the bottom told me beforehand and
too bad if he gets mad or unhappy and won’t play with me anymore. If I’m not
clear about what’s going on in my bottom’s head, I stop the scene. Not sure
what you mean by the “wrong” safe-word. Is it something like “Stop!” when you
told him the word is “Red”? Or is the safe word something he himself made up
and/or gave you? In a case like that, I guess I’d pause and ask him if by
“stop” he means “red,” or whatever his personal safe word is. If his answer doesn’t
make sense to me, then I’ll keep the scene stopped until he makes himself clear
or I get bored, untie him and tell him to get out and not come back until he
knows his own mind.
Tim wrote:
I don’t like safe words and don’t use them. I have a long
questionnaire I give all bottoms before we ever do anything together, so I get
a good idea about them and about how much they think they can take before we
ever get together for a scene. Even with newcomers I’m pretty good at reading
body language, and I never leave anyone alone for more than a few minutes,
especially since my bottoms tend to be gagged all the time when they don’t have
my dick in their mouth. So they couldn’t
use a safe word if we had one. I know
some tops tell their bottoms to snap their fingers if they’re gagged, but I
also like my bottoms wearing mitts, and it’s hard to snap your fingers if
you’re wearing those. Especially if your
mitts are thickly padded like mine. If a guy shakes his head back and forth
violently and makes choking, panicked sounds, I usually get the impression that
he’s having problems so ungag him right away and find out what the problems are.
Then we either fix what was wrong and go on with the scene, maybe toned down,
or end it. I’ve been playing for over 15 years and haven’t lost a bottom yet.
Tommy L. wrote:
What do you mean by the wrong safe word? That the sub
playing games with you? Or that he’s forgotten the safe word you and he agreed
on? If I were you I’d stop and find out, no matter what the sub said. There are
too many chances for things to go wrong in bondage situations and you don’t
want to find out that you seriously injured somebody (or worse) because he
forgot the safe word you agreed on or he was playing games.
Tommy P. wrote:
I’m a bottom and I think the top should stop if he doesn’t
understand why I’m shouting something, even if it’s not the word we agreed on.
Sometimes I go places in my head and I could easily forget a safe word, but
need the scene to stop.
Another question from Leo, which got two great answers:
“If a bottom says he wants a really tough
session but in the past when you met him he has indicated that he is ‘new to
all this,’ do you call him on it? Or make him negotiate, and then hold him to
his words and have some fun, and scare him a little when he finds out he has
bitten off more than he can chew?”
Sir Edward wrote:
I build up to tough scenes progressively, especially with
new boys. Sometimes we go very far and hard during our first meetings. But I
don’t advise starting out tough with someone you’ve never played with before.
Some boys who say they want their asses tanned real hard break down in tears
after a few little swats and plead with me to stop, while others, who aren’t
sure they’ll be able to take much at all, can’t get spanked or flogged hard
enough. I’ve met a few newbies who talked tough and fell apart, and some who
talked tough and went the distance. But I only learned that when I was working
on them.
Tim wrote:
I like negotiating with subs beforehand, especially newbies.
I make them tell me the minimum amount of time they’d like to spend in my puppy
cage or straitjacket or sleepsack or locked-on hood, but I warn them in advance
to be careful about what they say, because I’ll hold them to it when they come
to me. That tends to make them cautious, though they still often bite off more
than they can chew.
Some of those who give up early I immediately send on their
way. Others, the ones I like, I make negotiate the punishment they’ll get for failing
to meet the challenge they themselves imposed. One of the newbies who gave up
the first time was a real cute twink who came to me very cocky and left with a
tear-stained face from a severe spanking and his tail between his legs. I
didn’t think I’d ever hear from him
again. But a year later he called out of the blue and begged me to let him come
over, then when he arrived he pleaded with me to make him my full-time slave.
The year before he had told me he wanted to spend 48 hours
in my puppy cage, but after about 18 hours he couldn’t take it anymore. When he
came back the following year and was slobbering over my boots, I told him my
slave would have to spend lots of time in the cage. Then I asked him how long
he’d be willing to stay in it that weekend. He told me without even pausing to
think, that he’d stay in it as long as I made him. That was the correct answer,
I thought. I kept him in the cage for 36 hours, mostly gagged and always
mitted. The only time he wasn’t gagged was when he was sucking my cock through
the bars, or eating and drinking.
He drank by sucking water through a nipple connected to a
funnel and tube that doled out either water or piss or both, and he ate what I
gave him out of a dog bowl on the floor. He relieved himself, when I gave him
permission, by peeing into a portable urinal hooked to the cage (from time to
time I poured some of his own piss into the funnel) and shitting into a pot I
rigged up as a toilet.
When I finally opened the cage to let him out, 36 hours
later, he crawled over to lick my boots and thank me.
He was my slave for three years, until work took him to the
other side of the country. There he met the man who is probably still his
master today. I’m not sure since, for reasons that aren’t relevant here, we
lost touch.
(By the way, it was a great story about a bondage marathon
in The Bound & Gagged Bedside
Companion years ago that gave me an idea for my own bondage marathons, one
I’ve used ever since. When I’m doing long-term
scenes, I warn my bottoms beforehand that if they say even a word when I remove
their gags to feed them, the gag will go right back in, they’ll miss that meal
and will have to wait hours before they get the chance to eat again. And of
course I gag them as soon as they’ve finished eating. It’s fiendish and one
hell of a turn-on to me.)
Here’s Leo’s fifth and final question:
“Where in the hell can I get a perfect
gag! One that really works, and stops 95% of the sound. I know some
sound gets out through the throat (in a rumbling in the throat) and even from
the mouth behind the gag. Is it possible for a gag to have a tube
extending into the windpipe past the larynx, thereby preventing air from
affecting the speech area of the throat? There are no real ‘vocal cords’, I
know that for a fact, I saw it on the Discovery Channel. The bottom would of
course still be able to breathe quite well with the gag I envisage, I think,
but I’d probably need to go to medical school for that one too. But it wouldn’t
be too hard to make: Take a ball gag, make a hole in it and pass a tube
through it. Just make positive you don’t lose the tube down the bottom’s throat
if you don’t connect it securely to the ball gag, and DON’T use a toxic
adhesive if you try it. (This is not something I’m suggesting anyone should
try!!).”
I got mostly short answers to this one. A few people wrote
that they thought Leo’s own potential solution was dangerous and were nervous
about him trying it; and Bill S. asked what would be desirable about a gag that
stopped so much sound, the garbled grunting of the victim being a turn-on. I
personally can tell you what I learned years ago from Jim Stewart of Fetters,
that since most of the noise a well-plugged-and-sealed bottom’s mouth can make
comes through the cheeks, a muzzle, or something thick surrounding the cheeks,
would certainly muffle a lot of the sound that gagged men make when they simply
try to call out or groan loudly. Since, like Bill S., I’ve never wanted to
silence anyone using more than a well-sealed-in plug or sock, I can’t give a
better answer than that.
Any questions, or responses to these answers, from you?
Write me.