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May 21, 2016



Most men who had an abusive father or an absent father spend their lives searching for the male love their father never gave them. My father was both absent and abusive. I seek men who are older and stronger and who will punish me. In this way I am similar to Eric. One thing. Eric calls himself worthless. this is certainly not true in light of his great skill as a writer.

Leo Devin

I have to agree with Dan, I also have an absent and abusive father. I was driven away from home by him and somehow, ended up with a lover 25 years older than me, go figure.


What Eric and the commenters say about their fathers is interesting, and is making me wonder what role my father may have played in turning me into a bondage freak. I can’t see it, yet, but it’s got me thinking. My father was a nice, decent guy, still is. Hardworking, left most of the "bringing up" to my mom. He never laid a hand on any of us kids. There are four of us, me the only boy with two older sisters and a younger one. I got turned on to bondage when I was six or seven, watching a TV prisoner-of-war film with my family. In one scene different soldiers got tied up and tortured. I didn’t know what was happening inside me as I watched that, but I knew it was something important that I didn’t want to share with my family. One soldier was hogtied, and another was locked in a tight hot box. The scene was very brief but I would have liked it to go on forever. I wanted to be tied up and locked in a small box like those soldiers, even though I didn’t want the pain of torture. I’m pretty sure that movie—I wish I knew the title and could hunt it down—was at least one of the things that turned me on to men in uniform and especially guys in military gear. Not that I ever wanted to be tortured. I still don’t. Oh, and I don't go looking for father figures. As the only boy in my family I would really have liked to have a brother.

Leo Devin

I had much the same parental difficulty as Eric but as some of you know, I ended up on the high end of the sadistic side of things. I wonder what could have caused that type of split?


I have resisted this for a while but your interview with Eric just urges me to respond. Eric is sure to say ‘damn, that old fart is back.'

Yeah I am back and still loving Eric's offerings.

Eric consciously or unconsciously is topping from the bottom (and has been right along). That was discernable from your earlier interviews and from his narratives about the ‘boys’ episodes. He is still topping but not as forceably as most bottoms that do it. Eric does it in a much more subtle manner which takes longer and encounters more roadblocks. He has to bargain more, giving in to the demands of the tops in order to get his desires fulfilled. Your suggestions often are met with resistance but reach agreement after you both have had your say. I love it.

Eric seems to have matured with an awareness of the potential danger of actions, but he ends up doing them anyway. He has had super luck over the years and is still overcoming the odds. I marvel that he has survived so many risks.

I was very interested in the explanation of his relationship with his father and your responses. During my younger years I felt the strop many times as did my brother. Back in those days men shaved with a straight razor and honed them with a heavy leather strop which also served as an instrument of discipline to educate kids. My brother and I both were aquainted with the Strop, tho I never felt that my father was abusive. All the kids were educated by their fathers at one time or another and often with a bare hand meeting a bare ass over the knees of the male parent. My brother and I experienced both, but some kids got off much lighter.

Thinking back, Eric did recognize the seriousness of some of the things that they engaged in. He mentioned the discussions with Logan about the possibility of having to visit the ER a couple of times. Now there is the potential of contacting AIDS, with the sexual agreements that he just agreed to with his recent contract. His reaction will probably be “Mind your own business” but those of us who comment are sincerely showing our concern for his well-being.

I recognize that Eric has provided us with bits and pieces of his experiences which are probably highlights of his life and is using the flashbacks to fill in some of the gaps. I look forward to more fill-ins for they improve our understanding of the complexity of the man. Each and every one of us is an individual and while we may have common attributes we are not clones. I can relate to many of Eric’s desires but I never was able to engage in what Eric did. Placing myself totally into the hands of another man takes a tremendous amount of guts that I never could muster, tho I admit I didn’t come across the opportunities that so many encounter. I also am not gay and unlike you I consider having to administer a blow job, punishment. On the other hand I would expect to have that type of punishment accompany a session. Oh the complexity of us humans!

I apologize for the mess that this has turned out to be. It started in my mind to be a logical organized presentation but quickly became a collection of diverse thoughts thrown together. It does make me feel better to pass them on and it lets you know there are people out there who do pay attention to your efforts (and Eric’s) to entertain and educate us readers. My thanks for the efforts of you, Eric and others. I also look forward to continued offerings that will enhance whatever time I have remaining in this world.


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