Three more eye-opening letters received by The Outbound Press, publisher of Bound & Gagged, and KW Enterprises, our sister mail-order company, which sold bondage gear and (other companies') books and videos.
To: The Outbound Press
89 Fifth Ave. #803-A
New York, NY 10003
Camp D Eagle 3
La. State Prison
Angola, LA 70712
January 29, 1996
Greetings;
Myself and three of my friends here are involved in the prison hobbyshop. Our continuous goal is to raise enough money to support ourselves, without being a burden to the tax dollars; and to pay for our education, and improvement in our skills.
The hobbies we are involved in run the full gamut from leathercrafting to woodworking. We are unable, for security reasons, to participate in metal working, however, we are virtually unlimited in the leather and wood hobbies.
I saw your ad in the "Advocate", and as I am fully aware of the various needs of the bondage and sado masochist trade, we are able to supply many of the leather products involved.
What we are seeking is a solid, consistent market for our products. If you are interested, or know of someone that may be, please feel free to contact us at the above address for additional information.
Thank you for your time and consideration in this matter.
Cordially;
Signed
*
ESTABLISH A SATANIST CHURCH
I had to key this letter in since it was handwritten and had to be pretty much deciphered.
Postmarked 19 September 1995
My Dear Most Honored President,
I am writing to K and W Enterprises for I am a customer of your products. Now I have a genius IQ and I want to show you how you can sell more goods. Now I come from Erie, PA, and what you can do is sell franchises to local porn shops, who can sell your products locally. In Erie, PA, the porno book store is small and can expand. It is owned by a Mr. Will Fetzner, it's called Modern News Adult Book Shop, east side of State Street, between 13th and 14th Streets, Erie, PA 16501.
Now you would work with Mr. Fetzner to sell your products, and if it works with him you can do it nationwide. Now to get him interested you can show him how if he moves to a great location, namely the West Erie Plaza Movie House. In Erie a 17 movie theatre is opening up, which will take the market away from General Cinema of Pittsburgh. Now Mr. Fetzner can go to General Cinema, and get them to sell their franchise to the new movie chain called "Cinema 17," then they can close the 13th and Pittsburgh Theatre, and lease the property to U.S. Armed Services Recruiting, to move Coast Guard, Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines recruiters from 11th and State, which is in a dead downtown, where no young people are at. Also 11th and State has no parking. Then General Cinema can open a 100 year lease with the Erie Plaza owners.
But the lease will allow General Cinema to sublease its theatres, then they can sublease the West Erie Plaza Theatre to Mr Fetzner, who can put his porno shop into the Western Plaza. Then to get business Mr. Fetzner can buy Erie's gay bar, The Silver Slipper, then the theatre's lobby can sell porno books, press, films, magazines, and KW Enterprises products. Then the theatre has four movie rooms, 2 rooms can be made to show porno films, the third can be converted into peep shows, and the fourth movie room can be converted into a gay bar, and The Silver Slipper can be relocated into the movie.
Now as for Mill Creek it is a conservative township, so what KW Enterprises can do is set up a patent, and church, also sell rights to porn shops, in exchange for selling KW products, namely, you can set up a Satan worship church which will set up religious stores. Now catholics adore pictures and statues, that is legal, also Russian or Greek orthodox worship pictures called icons, so Satanists can worship holy pictures too, and Since Satan is a pervert, he worships porn pictures, films, toys, press, magazines, etc.
Now we have freedom of Religion. All religion, not certain kinds of religion, so if the police raid a Satan Church Religious Store, freedom of religion steps in and the police, as a group and as individuals can be sued for civil damages, for violating the Constitution. And if Government leaders haze or use zoning or pass ordinances, or if religious groups try to haze customers they can be sued for violating civil rights.
Now to get religious protection a porno book shop has to go to you, for a franchise patent, and to get that the porno book store has to sell KW Enterprises products, and also sell and carry Bound & Gagged Magazine. And this will get you into local sales markets nationwide, making a lot of sales for you and Bound & Gagged press. So I wish you would contact Mr. Fetzner with my idea, and try it out, and if it works you can go nation wide. So I wish you would study out my proposal. I will make no profit from it, so I hope I am helpful to you. Thank you.
Signed
*
CUSTOMER SERVICE
Much, though not all, of this letter was handwritten and had to be keyed in.
7/30/93
Dear Outbound Press,
I would like to thank you for the 6 back issues that I ordered from you. I also would like to thank you for ripping me off. You see I ordered 6 back issues and a copy of Bondage Recruits. So it would come out like this:
[shows arithmetic, which correctly totals $65.45]
The total $65.45 was what was charge to my Mastercard. But since I only received six back issues I must have paid $10.91 for each issue. Like I said earlier thanks for a big rip off.
Why didn’t I write about this earlier? I just received my MC bill in the mail. I wanted to see if I was only charged for the 6 issues since that was all I received.
I was going to subscribe for a subscription but who knows what you would charge and what you would or wouldn’t be sent. As far as recommending others to order from your company, I would tell them you are taking a big risk.
Todd P
Cocoa, FL
To this letter, my assistant DM sent the following reply on August 5th:
Dear Sir,
Received your letter concerning Bondage Recruits today. Please find the issue enclosed. We received your order on 6/25 and your back issues were sent out a couple of days later quite promptly. Upon investigation I have found that the person who assembled your order simply failed to include BR. Please accept our apologies for this.
Having said that, I must comment on the extremely sarcastic tone of your letter. We in no way intended to “rip you off.” We simply are not that kind of business. Your accusation was unnecessary. When you received only a partial shipment of your order with no explanation, why didn’t you assume it was a mistake and notify us at that time rather than waiting for your credit card bill and entertaining fantasies of dishonesty? You would have received our sincerest apologies and a copy of Bondage Recruits right away.
As a small company with good customer service we found your letter’s knee-jerk reaction disturbing and out of line. Human error was involved with the mix up in your order and nothing more sinister than that, That’s what we have to apologize for. You would do better in the future to give others the benefit of the doubt rather than arriving so quickly at cynical conclusions.
Sincerely
DM
In a letter dated August 12th, Todd P. wrote Donald Murphy the following letter:
Dear DM,
No, I am the one who owes you an apology. Everything was coming down on top of me at the time my partial shipment arrived. I mean everything. I took it out on you and your company.
In the past, and my friend can attest to the fact, that I have been ripped off by other companies in the past. Companies with a plural. But that doesn’t mean I have to assume the worst about your company. It has been a good company just that I’m such a jerk. I find the material fantastic. I’m sorry I haven’t found out earlier than this year, in the past couple of months, about your publications. So again I’m truly sorry for reacting in the most unprofessional way.
As for waiting until the credit card bill came, I was waiting to see if I was charged for the full order or if Bondage Recruits was out of print and I was not charged for it. But again if I would have written sooner this all would have been avoided. I also realized that you would have let me know if the issue I ordered was out of print so again I APOLOGIZE for my stupidity.
I would like to continue my business in the future if I haven’t already severed ties with you. Things have gotten better in my life now. I just let things really bother me, and that day I took it out on you. I will also recommend your company to other people if need be. And if I EVER have a problem with an order, providing you allow me to continue with you, I will let you know right away and not in a sarcastic or dishonest way. So again I am truly asorry and if allowed would like to do business in the future.
Thank you and sorry,
Todd P
Cocoa, FL
P.S. Any punishment you can think of for my stupidity?
In a letter dated August 23rd, Donald Murphy replied:
Dear Todd,
So you’ve decided to come crawling back to our splendid company on your knees, repentant and newly humble, have you? I’m intrigued by your mention of punishment although I feel it’s not your place to even suggest it, as I’m perfectly aware of the fact that you should pay for your rudeness. I might mention that our company dominatrix, Niki Blatchwee, feels that living in Cocoa is punishment enough for a lifetime of transgressions.
I have nevertheless decided that you should be punished as follows: You must, in the nude and in one sitting, write, “I shall not accuse you of ripping me off,” fifty times and then promptly mail me the results.
Of course I understand personal realities external to our business relationship contributed to the harshness of your letter and do forgive you. You may feel free to order from our company and you are expected to recommend us to others.
One last note about your penance: try not to enjoy it too much.
Yours truly
DM
THAT cracked me up! Thanks for sharing.
Posted by: bdsmjack | October 13, 2015 at 06:32 PM